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Lighten the Fuck Up! Every Dog Has His Day...

Svetography. Getty Images.

Three male Labrador Retrievers, one brown, one yellow, and one black, were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation…

The black lab turned to the brown and asked, "So, why are you here?"

The brown lab confessed, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything -- the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids, but the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's king-size bed."

The black lab then asked, "So what's the vet gonna do?"

"Gonna cut my nuts off", replied from the brown lab. "They think it'll calm me down…"

The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, "So, why are you here?"

The yellow lab explained, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and shrubs, I just dig for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets, but I went over the line last night when I dug a big hole in my owner's new leather couch…"

So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab asked.

"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too…", the dejected yellow lab admitted.

The yellow lab then turned to the black lab and asked, "So, why are you here?"

"I'm a humper", the black lab divulged. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the dining room table, whatever. I wanna hump everything in sight… Yesterday, my owner had just gotten out of the shower and was bending over to dry her feet and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started humping away…"

The yellow and brown labs exchanged sad glances and then one of them asked, "So, nuts off for you too?"

The black lab replied confidently, "Nope, just here to get my nails clipped…"

* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968