If Brandon Tanev Ever Asks You If He Can Borrow A Roll Of Clear Tape, Run Immediately
Brandon Tanev is a total psychopath. I feel like we all knew that already. Just his overall general demeanor has psychopath written all over it. But the way this maniac tapes his socks? Well I just hope the employees at Howie's Hockey Tape work on commission because they'd all be able to buy at least 4 vacation homes with the amount of tape this guy goes through. And that's even if he was just going through that much tape for the 82 games per season. But clearly he's crushing a full roll of clear for practice as well.
But when Brandon Tanev got picked up by the Seattle Kraken in the expansion draft, I thought that would be the end of his excessive taping. You figure Seattle is so environmentally conscience that their arena is named Climate Pledge Arena. I just assumed they'd make him switch to something like paper tape to help reduce his footprint. Turns out those hippies in Seattle ain't changing shit, though, because the TanMan is right back to his regularly scheduled programming.
Christ almighty.
Now again, the tape job on it's own is psychotic. But worthy of a fine? Maybe not. What I will say, however, is that if Brandon Tanev ever asks to mooch some tape off of a teammate? Well now only should a fine be coming his way, but that should carry at least a multiple game sussy as well.
I just hope he has enough self-awareness to know that when you tape your socks like that, you gotta come packing. You have to be the team tape plug. We're talking 4 or 5 rolls on you at any given moment. You can't be the tape mooch when you unravel the whole damn thing just for one sock. People have been Scott Stevens'd for less.