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There Is No Team In Sports History One Can Hate To Love Move Than The 2021 Philadelphia Phillies

SAID. Seriously. In all my years I can't remember a team so viscerally frustrating, incompetent, and useless...and yet somehow extremely fun, enjoyable, and lovable. And these feelings go from 0 to 100 down to Absolute Zero back up to the moon on a nightly, nay, inning by inning basis. Just take last night for example. The Phillies start a 4 game series vs the Pirates with (still supposed) ace Aaron Nola on the mound. Also, the Braves lost during the day which means this opener was HUGE for the Fightens to pick up ground. Seems like a solid spot to come out firing on all cylinders and drown one of the worst teams in the league before even giving them a chance to breathe, right?

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Nola, the LORD of just mailing it in when ahead 2-0 in the count, gives up 5 in the 2nd including a bases loaded, 0-2 hit to a pitcher who never sniffed the batter's box in his Major League life. Add 1 in the 3rd and the Phillies were down 6-0. Twas cute. It was so bad the rain started to come down a little and everyone was praying the game got washed out before 5 innings so it wouldn't be official. The Phillies were officially brainless, dickless, and hopeless - AGAIN. And then you know what happened? 

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They won. They won the damn game. Honestly I fundamentally can't believe the Phillies won that game AND Aaron Nola still got the W. It's unbelievable. Aaron Nola settled down to go 6 innings with 8 K's and the Phillies won 12-6. I don't get it. One inning he's dogmeat the next he's shades of a Cy Young contender again. That goes for other guys, too. Didi Gregorious hasn't done the dickens all year in the field or at the plate yet sparkplugged this team with his first dinger in a full eon - A homerun that was his longest since 2015. Like, wtf? JT Realmuto has had his moments obviously but has also kinda underperformed all year, yet he came off the bench to deliver 3 hits and 4 RBIS. Even Ronnie T, who is regularly pinch hits solely to sacrifice bunt, crushes a 3-run spankshot to give The Fightens the lead. 

I don't understand this team and, quite frankly, I'm at the point where I don't want to.  I've never hated to love a team so much. 10 games to go and 2 out of the Bravos. Let's just win them all and then win the whole fucking thing. 

Tune into First Time, Long Time this week where we discussed the Phillies as well as other inspiring topics such as how it may be impossible for the Eagles to go .500 and Ben Simmons being the most hated man to even step in Philadelphia. Benedict Arnold included. We'll hang up and listen.