LET'S GO BUFFALO! Amazon Is Looking To Pay A Lucky Bills Fan $1100 To Jump Through Tables For A Commercial

Syracuse.com- Amazon is looking for Bills Mafia members — especially an experienced table jumper — to be in a commercial. WIVB reports a casting call from Casting Buffalo is seeking several “authentic football (Buffalo Bills) fans” to shoot an Amazon commercial in Western New York on Oct. 5 or Oct. 6. Local, non-union talent are encouraged to submit video auditions for featured speaking roles including:

• 2 BOAT FANS -- Must be 30-50 years old, calm, relaxed while on a boat and can display genuine reaction of disbelief or excitement to a play on TV. One line: “Stat that.”
• FACE PAINT FAN -- Must be 50-70 years old, enthusiastic, energetic, and genuinely real as they cheer on the Buffalo Bills. One line: “Stat that!”
• SUPER FAN -- Must be 18 or over, die-hard Bills fans in face paint, enthusiastic, energetic and genuine. One line: “Stat that!”
• YOUNG FOOTBALL PLAYER -- Must be 10-22 years old (portraying no older than 16; if under 18 must provide NYS Child Performance Permit), motivated, enthusiastic, aspirational, dream big, want to become one of the best football players in the world. One line: “One day, I’m gonna stat that.”
• WEATHER ANCHOR -- Must be 30-50 years old, comedic and quirky, improv required, knowledgeable about football, sound like an authentic weather reporter. One line: “We’ll see clear skies, but it’s going to be raining touchdowns.”
• TABLE JUMPER STUNT ROLE -- Must be 30-45 years old, male, diehard fan, eccentric, goofy, and willing to jump through a folding table. (Experience encouraged.) One line: “Staaat that.”

The stunt role rate is $1,100 for 12 hours. (That’s right: They’ll pay you to jump through a table.)

As somebody that has waited for Jeff Bezos to embrace his destiny as a real life Lex Luthor, I am thrilled that he has gone full mad billionaire by putting his calls for humans to commit violence on themselves for his amusement out in the open. Offering a thousand dollars to a Bills fan seems excessive considering you could probably get them to do it for a free month of Prime or I don't know absolutely NOTHING any given Sunday.

However, I am even happier for the great people of #BillsMafia. Every single one of those Zubaz'd up lunatics deserve a check for doing what they do. From the old vets that suffered through the four straight Super Bowl losses in the prime of their lives to the face painted madman and woman that scream at the tailgates every Sunday morning to the stars of the show that put themselves through the finest folding tables found at the local Price Chopper (Source: Roughly a zillion videos on this website and our social accounts over the last decade)

The only problem with this commercial is that only one person can be chosen despite there being a higher percentage of professional-grade table jumpers in little ol' Buffalo than there are professional baseball players from the tiny Dominican Republic. I am scared this will lead to a game of one upping since whoever lands that gig as well as the grand that comes along with it will truly be the Lord of Buffalo, which is why I fully expect the casting call to look like this:

h/t Dave