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Cleveland Police Are Saying NO ALCOHOL At The Browns Home Opener Tailgate Today

Well this is news to me. I honestly thought the policy was "Browns fans WITHOUT alcohol are not allowed in the Muni Lot". At least that's what my eyeballs have been telling me for the last 20 years. My family has been tailgating in the Muni Lot since the Browns returned in '99, and I don't think I've ever seen one sober person above the age of 15. In fact, I saw my first pair of voluptuous breasts in the Muni Lot at the ripe age of 8. The woman's shirt said, Shotgun a Beer and I'll Show You My Titties. Someone else did the crime, but 3rd grade Tate did the time. The time of his life. And I learned about two beautiful parts of this thing that we call life that day. Well, three if you count what it meant to shotgun a beer. Now are we really going deprive our next generation of our youth from moments like these? Are they really going to enforce this no alcohol policy.....? 

According to the Cleveland Police, we are.

Riiiiiiiight.......

Community policing at its finest. They know this is all we have in Cleveland. And they know that for many years, the tailgate was the only highlight of the day. Everything went downhill after 1 pm. 

Here's a little excerpt from Dave Portnoy's blog in 2014 titled "A+ Beer Bong From Browns Tailgate" -

I feel like Browns tailgates are probably top NFL 3 tailgates in the country. I just feel like Clevelanders lives are miserable Monday through Saturday and then Sunday is a day to let it all hang out at Browns games."

Exactly right, Dave. And now they're trying to take away our alcohol? I thought this was America.