Who Amongst Us Has Not Gotten A USB Cable Stuck Inside Of Our Penis?

NY Post - A UK teen had to undergo emergency surgery after a bananas attempt to measure his manhood resulted in him getting a USB cable lodged in his urethra.

The phallic fiasco reportedly began after an unnamed 15-year-old boy was “triggered by sexual curiosity” and inserted a USB wire into his urethra, per a wince-worthy study published in the medical journal Urology Case Reports.

The sexperiment backfired when the cable became lodged in the curious teen’s scrotum like an electronic catheter. Despite attempts to extract it himself, the USB cord became tangled so terribly that both ends were left hanging out of his wired willy.

The plugged-up boy’s family transported him to the hospital after he began urinating blood. After initial attempts to remove the wire failed, the teen was transferred to University College Hospital London to see if they could extricate the intra-penile measuring tape.

Boys will be boys!!! Just a classic tale of teenager debauchery. You never know what these crazy teens will do next. Sometimes it's smoking a cigarette, sometimes it's sneaking out at night, and sometimes it's sticking a god damn USB cable up their pee hole to see how long their dick is. Classic!

What's shocking to me is how quickly technology changes. When I was a boy we would jam a ruler into the fleshy patch next to where our dick started and measure it that way. The harder you pushed in, the bigger your dick was. Oh don't lie, you did it too. With your sad little childhood ruler too. It was like a sad, twisted scene from Toy Story that they don't show you. What really goes on in those formative years. They never showed us Andy measuring his dick or beating off to Bo Peep. No wonder Woody got so weird. 

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But where were we? Oh yeah, this dude sticking wire up his dick hole. Yeah um, don't do that. Do normal weird shit. Like go fuck a pie or something.