Meet 'Highchair': The Barstool Mom-Blog You've ALL Been Clamoring For
Welp, I've had my ear to the ground and have heard the rumblings...
"Aw man, football, hockey, baseball and basketball are on? Woof. Too much. Distracts from the only thing I want to focus on at Barstool Sports: Motherhood content from someone who is not an expert on it."
Fear not! Highchair is here.
I am a mom.
I am a blogger.
That the two should meet seems inevitable, but I have been fighting this hard. When I hear 'mommy blogger' I envision some picture-perfect lifestyle journal that is very much not me, and very much not Barstool… Plus I'd have to bug Feits to borrow his hats for highly stylized Instagram posts.
Alas, here I am unable to get bloggin' mom things off my mind month after month. I used to roll my eyes at that sort of stuff but I get it now. It's different for everyone but motherhood has taken over a VAST swath of my current frame of reference. It's all-encompassing. My TikTok algorithm is forever ruined.
..And I feel like we're conditioned to suck it up & downplay our 'mom stuff' like it's all cute Instagram photos & butterflies & normal when it's actually a huge fucking deal & incredibly challenging.
Your taint rips and/or your butthole flips inside out and/or you have a major surgery, your nipples crack & bleed and/or expensive ass formula powder covers everything, teeny-tiny razor sharp fingernails claw at your face & rip out your already threadbare, hormone-ravaged hair, sleepless nights, constant worry, ravenous hunger, torso feeling like a half-filled1980s water bed, free time/'you time' gone completely, FOMO for parts of your old life, moods on a roller coaster, social life on hold, partner not always 'getting it right' when emotions are high, sooo much conflicting information..
..yet at the same time it's the greatest fucking thing on the planet & you wouldn't change it for anything. Some days you can't wait until they fall asleep, but once they finally do you find yourself scrolling through photos of them hoping they wake up soon. There's also so much joy & excitement & laughter (I can't remember the last time I smiled so much) and through it all ya keep on truckin' with everything else in your life.
It's both mundane (ah, I'm washing bottles for the 10,000th time today & agonizing over what butt-cream will best support their butthole) & an earth-shattering mind-fuck (holy shit, this mini human being that I GREW is out in the world staring into my eyes & smiling?!).
Clearly I've already got a lot to say on it & holding myself back has sucked. Plus, at the end of the day I feel best when I write & create around topics I actually care about, and I've never cared about anything more. Seven months in my brain is wholly scrambled, obsessed & so wildly in love with the lil' guy and it's to the point where I have trouble focusing on anything else because it's humming away in the back of my mind. My output has been suffering as a result…
As for my worry that it's 'not Barstool enough'… If there's anything I know for sure, the most on-brand Barstool thing you can do is be genuinely, fully yourself. Keep throwing your spaghetti at the wall and maybe something will stick & someone else will enjoy it, or at least be kept busy on the toilet for a moment.
I'm sure this will evolve (or get cancelled lulz) but to start I'll be ranking products, trying to weed through the enormously fickle sea of conflicting parenting info that gets shoved at us, & just sharing some of what I'm going through as painfully honestly as possible while time flies in this first year. At some point I'd also like to start including the experiences of other Stoolie moms/parents if they're willing to share.
Oh, and I'll also probably try to shove some baby merch at you through the most effective means to reach other newb mom & dads: fear-based marketing ha ha. (Would be a reaaaal shame if your infant was uncool & uncomfortable because they weren't wearing our ZBT onesie.)
In closing, if this is your wheelhouse I hope you come along. You can follow me on Instagram & Twitter at @KateBarstool (real original) and DM me if you've got a topic you want to hear about (will do my best to research), baby/kid product you want to shit on or shout out, or you just want to shame me for putting my son out there. (But can you blame me? I want to brag on this guy from the top of a mountain. #PerfectAndAdvanced.) See you at the Highchair. I'll bring the sweet potato purée.