Saturday In Ann Arbor Still Doesn't Feel Real

It's never going to sink in. It's never going to make sense, and I'm okay with that. 

On Saturday afternoon, as I sat on a bus talking to people that I never thought I would meet, working for a company that I never thought I would work for, the nerves were flying. At one point, I told a story only to realize an hour later that I had utterly mismatched the people involved and essentially told two different stories and combined them into one on accident. Anxiety is a brain fryer. With all of that said, despite the anxiety, Saturday was a perfect day. The weather, the city, and the atmosphere were, as were the people. It was personally perfect, but even more importantly, it was perfect for Barstool.

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I can't overstate just how fucking awesome the fans in Ann Arbor were all weekend. There's been this weird narrative that's been pushed over the last several months that Michigan football fans aren't as passionate as they used. While it's undeniably true that the product on the field has not been nearly as good as many people expected it to be during the Harbaugh era (though they played pretty goddamn good on Saturday), there are fewer atmospheres in the country that are as electric as Ann Arbor is on a fall Saturday. My only regret is that I couldn't contribute more, but watching the talent go to work, both in front of and behind the camera, was incredible. I did very, very little, yet it was still some of the most fun I've ever had. I muttered under my breath so many times, "I can't believe I fucking work here."

All systems are "go" when you work a job like this. One team's season ends, you move on to the next one. There are very few pauses. There is only the next blog, the following video, or the next podcast. I've tried to go out of my way to take in the moments the best I can. While driving down to Ann Arbor, I had the opportunity to visit the gas station that I worked at for two years before getting hired by Barstool. It was the first time I've seen my former boss since all of (waves hands in the air) this happened. He asked me the question that I've probably had the most challenging time answering throughout my entire life, which is, "Are you happy?" I'm always inclined to say "yes" just because I don't want other people to hear about my problems necessarily, but I've always had trouble with that question. I'll say this though, on Saturday, I was happy as fuck. Saturday was one of those days where I said to myself that I would go through all the same shit again if it meant that I could find my way back to Barstool. I go through the same grind, and I'd go through the same endless hours of therapy. I'd wait the same tables, and I'd work at the same gas station. There are moments I could go without, but I'd push through them if it meant I'd end up back at this fucking fantastic company with these fucking awesome fans. You'll go through five years of shit if it means that you can have one day like Saturday. Saturday was a perfect day because Saturday was a Barstool day, and those are the best kind.