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In Totally Normal News, Dan Campbell Had To Answer A Question About The Internet Rumor That D'Andre Swift Is Wanted For Murder In Philadelphia

Ahhhhhhh the internet. The World Wide Web. The information superhighway that can give you sports scores in a millisecond, unlimited streaming HD porn, and rumors about a player being a suspect in a murder. 

I bet Dan Campbell didn't see that shit coming when he was interviewing for the Lions job. He probably laid out his grand visions for the franchise to the Ford family that included Lions players eating the knee caps off of their opponents and Lions generational talents not retiring in their prime because they hated losing every single year. But I doubt Dan Campbell thought he'd be addressing something FrannieLydon69420 was talking about on Reddit since I imagine Campbell doesn't know what the fuck Reddit is. Big time Welcome to the NFL moment for a guy who has either played or coached in the league for more than 20 years.

I mean my dumbass works full-time in this fucked up Matrix and even I was taken aback by a buddy when a buddy who does not live on this digital hellscape asked me if these rumors were true since he was thinking about trading for Swift in fantasy. All I could tell him is that if you believe every internet rumor, pretty much every good player in the NFL would be limping from the tragic story of them breaking both legs in a car accident, it would've been Mephisto all along in Wandavision, and the KFC would have a crippling commute from South Carolina to HQ every single day.