Fellas, Is It Gay To Listen To Women Talk About Sports??
Im glad were finally having this long overdue conversation.
First of all hats off to this take. Big “there I said it” vibes. You know what they say- opinions are like assholes- theyre delicious. The imaginary conversation going back and forth in his own tweet lets you know hes already considered your arguments before you even make them and hes already won.
Yes, no, no, yes, yes, yes, no like playing “who would you screw” with a Pardon My Take poster.
And whether its Beth Mowins sucking all the excitement out of another 9-3 Purdue/Illinois barn burner by knowing more than me about football, or when Coors light tried to sneak a extra woman in their commercials with the “And Twins” commercials that invaded my living room- women have been showing up more and more recently in traditionally masculine spaces in our society like reporting football, or screwing up united states foreign policy.
Its time we take a good long hard look at THE MAN in the mirror and ask ourselves if were comfortable with our daughters growing up in a society filled with a bunch of pansy men who will allow them to do things like appear on television.
As a guy there are only a couple places I can go to be around only men- wrestling message boards, municipal court, replies to crypto tweets, Wyoming. Dont get me wrong, theres a time and a place for women- the bible mentions several- including a real gem named Eve the insider who thought she was “just passing along information from one of her sources” too when she brought her famous homemade desert into Adams mancave on NFL sunday. Next thing you know, Gods all “who do you know here bro” , kicks us out , gets all PC and makes women start wearing clothes.
Theres a test you can give a movie called the Bechdel test where you see the female characters then you notice if there is ever a scene with only females where they ever have a conversation where they arent talking about a guy. Well I propose one where a show is bad if two women are on TV go longer than 10 seconds without the son of one of their coworkers getting a audtion. I wont even act on fantasy injury information from a female until its confirmed by a masculine reporter like Ian Rapoport or Ken Rosenthal. When Im watching sports pregame shows I want to know two things from my analysts:
1. That theres a big strong man who agrees with my opinion
2. If were celebrating truck month with best-in-class towing and 0% apr to qualified buyers
For the record I am a straight man- a guys guy through and through. Guys love me and I love dudes, theres no doubt about it. Heck, I’m so 100% straight that my sexualty could guard DK Metclaf’s entire route tree with its eyes closed. The only thing that can ruin 8 consecutive hours of thinking about dudes is if a chick butts in and makes me feel gay.
The male brain is the strongest most intelligent thing in the history of the universe. It is the only thing in the entire world that has become smart enough to invent a way to destroy it.
Listening to women is a slippery slope, no offense to Ben Shapiros wifes mons pubis. First a woman will you to let the dog out because shes going to be volunteering all afternoon, and next thing you know your watching the Creed halftime show on mute so we can say Thanksgiving grace with her sick grandmother. When does it end.
In conclusion, I propose a healthy comprimise with our nations dorks that women are aloud on my television during when men are playing sports only if they are twins and they arent dating anyone who’s taller than me.