If You're Using a Fake Vaccine Card and Don't Want to Go to Jail, Make Sure You Can Spell 'Moderna' Correctly
KHON — A 24-year-old woman was arrested and charged on suspicion of falsified vaccination documents. The Department of the Attorney General said she submitted a fake COVID vaccination card in order to avoid the state’s mandatory 10-day quarantine.
Chloe Mrozak, of Illinois, also allegedly falsified information on her quarantine location.
On Aug. 23, the Safe Travels Program administrator reported a possible fraudulent COVID vaccination card after Mrozak uploaded and presented the card to the airport screener. The screener failed to confirm Mrozak’s hotel reservation prior to her leaving the processing center. According to court documents, no reservation was found after contacting the hotel that she listed in her Safe Travels forms, and Mrozak did not provide her hotel reservation number and return flight information.
Upon reviewing her vaccination card, Mrozak allegedly misspelled “Moderna” as “Maderna”.
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Maderna.
It sounds like Hawaii has a pretty good set-up going to make sure everyone entering the state is either vaccinated or going through a 10-day quarantine, so even if you're able to make a fake vaccine card, you better make sure you have all your other ducks in a row. But holy hell, you have to be able to spell "Moderna" first to even get to that point.
Google is free, y'all. On the 10-hour flight from Chicago to Honolulu, you couldn't have given a cursory glance to just make sure there wasn't some glaring error on your fake vaccine card which was going to cause you to both end up in Hawaiian jail and go viral for being one of the stupidest people alive? Tough scenes.
I don't know that you should be incarcerated for any appreciable amount of time for something like this, but maybe we institute some sort of public punishment. Jack Mac went into Penn Station dressed as a clown to atone for giving out one of the worst picks in the history of college football gambling, so maybe we institute something similar to that.
I don't know what's going to end up happening to this girl, but she earned whatever it is.
"Maderna." Unreal.