There's No Way In Hell This Birthday Cake Doesn't Taste Like Betrayal & Disgust

This cake, man. This cake is unlike anything I've ever seen before. Ya know what actually? I think I have seen stuff like that but it's mostly on hilarious social media accounts like one Barstool Sports. You never think you'd ever come across something like this in the real world! That is until last night when my buddy sent a few of us his brother-in-law's cake at his birthday.

I damn near jumped out of my bed to drive over there solely to grab a bite of this thing. Could it possibly even taste good? What was on the inside? I saw a bunch of tweets saying it may be a red velvet cake for Alabama on the inside which, frankly, I wouldn't be shocked over. Now I'm just gonna need to text my pal and see how this bad boy tasted. Granted he actually has one of the worst pallets I've ever seen (he obsesses over Mac N' Cheese burgers which are gross) though I'm still gonna have to ask him for journalistic purposes.

Yet it wouldn't even matter even if that cake was constructed & filled by the cake boss himself, Buddy Valastro, you need to say it tasted worse than a gas station pastry. That's all I have to say about.