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Today On Spirit Airlines: Woman Lights Up A Cigarette On The Runway, Uses The A+ Excuse Of Claiming She Had A 'Long Day'

What a fucking move by this lady. I think we all know the main rule when it comes to flying. No smoking. It's been illegal forever. You can close your eyes and picture the little no smoking sign above every seat. You can close your eyes and hear the flight attendant doing their speech and talking about how you can't smoke (or dip). But this lady didn't care. And what makes it even more wild? She was 20 minutes or so from being outside where you can smoke freely! (h/t Daily Star)

The incident took plane when the Spirit Airlines flight waited on the runway to park at a gate in Fort Lauderdale Airport, Florida.

Hey, I get it. This is always the most annoying part of the flight. You are on the ground, but you still have to sit there and can't leave. Sometimes you get stuck behind traffic or waiting for people to help at the gate. At the same time you have the assholes standing in the aisle and bumping into you or have their ass in your face. You're anxious to either get to vacation or get back home. Like I said, I get it. 

But that's the insane part here. You know you're 20 minutes from freedom. You just lasted the entire flight, why light up a cigarette right there and then? I know people will claim she was hammered, but apparently she's just a fan of the Double Vodka Don. 

"The woman next to her told us she had a double vodka cranberry during the flight."

The woman was eventually escorted off the plane by Broward Sheriff’s Office Airport District deputies.

A police statement said: "On scene, deputies met with Spirit Airlines employees and were advised that they wanted a female passenger removed from the plane for smoking.

I’m not even anti-cigarette. If you smoke, you smoke. What I am is anti-someone ruining my day. And if I’m on any sort of flight, you better not do anything to fuck up my trip. Just me from point A to point B. That’s all I ask for in a flight. But for some reason people forget how to be people in the airport/on an airplane. Rules are simple: 

1. Don't clap when we land. 

2. Don't stand the moment we land. Just understand we're going to start with left side row 1, right side row 1 and work our way back. You can't jump the line UNLESS you have to run to a connecting flight and make it known. 

3. Don't be the dickhead that reclines the seat in a tight spot. 

4. Don't be the dickhead that kicks the person reclining the seat. 

5. Understand the security check rules. Don't fuck around and waste time because you don't know to take your wallet out of your pocket or something like that.

And then the major rule. Don't smoke. You can't be fucking up other people's days just because you have a long day. I love the excuse, but just give it 20 minutes. Even funnier was her hiding the cigarette in an empty cup. Impossible for people to find that! They'll never look there. Hey, slight win for the lady though. 

"Deputies made contact with the request, and no arrest was made.

Got her cigarette, got off the plane and didn't get arrested. What a break.