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Belgium fucks, apparently.

Saw this story today and rushed to see if someone already wrote about it...

Before you get your hopes up, there was no interspecies sex... The woman in the article simply had an intense-but-platonic four-year friendship with a 38-year-old chimpanzee at the Antwerp Zoo through a thick layer of glass, and her ban stemmed from the unfortunate fact that their considerable time together was causing the chimp to be shunned by the rest of the monkeys in his enclosure.

But the reason for this blog is because when I did a quick search of the word "Belgium" on Barstool Sports, to my surprise, every result was more interesting than the last.

In January of this year, Thornton wrote about the Mayor of Antwerp who was caught pantless on a Zoom call.

Giphy Images.

That same week, White Sox Dave commented on a Belgian cyclist who was told she couldn't be a coach for a men's cycling team because she posed nude for Playboy magazine years earlier.

Giphy Images.

According to Reags, in December of 2020, cops in Belgium broke up a 60-person orgy where everyone paid $300 to participate.

Giphy Images.

A month earlier, another hapless Belgian mayor had apologized for covering his town in 90 huge penis-shaped Christmas lights.

Giphy Images.

In 2019, a Belgian man spent 116 hours sitting on a toilet setting a new Guinness World Record for the feat.

Giphy Images.

October 2018 had a Smitty blog telling us about another Belgian Playboy model who was arrested for taking risque snapshots for a daring photoshoot inside Istanbul’s iconic Hagia Sophia mosque.

And the first mention of this small Western European nation was waaaay back in 2013 after Feits told the story of a Belgian university professor caught watching porn after class because he left the video projector still on.

None of these stories are earth-shattering, but collectively, I think monkey-loving, toilet-sitting, Zoom-nudity, Playboy-coaching and Mosque-defacing, dick-lighting, and affordable-orgy-having Belgium put on nice showing for a country that is barely the size of Maryland and was known almost exclusively for its beer, chocolate, and waffles.

And I am going to keep my eye on it going forward.

Take a report.

-Large