The Philadelphia Flyers Owe It To Aquaman To Not Suck Aggressively Hard This Year

Jordie8/25/2021 2:50 PM

Chris Hyde. Getty Images.

I think we can all agree that the 2020-21 season for the Philadelphia Flyers was a complete and total unmitigated disaster. The month of March was enough to make some fans never want to watch another hockey game ever again. The defense could have been replaced by the turnstiles on your way into the Wells Fargo Center. Carter Hart was looking to become one of the only goalies to ever have his jersey number higher than his save percentage number. Jake Voracek was getting paid nearly a million dollars per goal.

Meanwhile you've got Aquaman out here fighting like 4 different bad guys in the same movie, having to kick the shit out of his half--brother and manage to keep his hair perfect while fighting underwater. This dude's life is a constant struggle and all he ever asks for in return is for the Philadelphia Flyers to be good at hockey.

Gilbert Carrasquillo. Getty Images.

It would just be incredibly rude and inconsiderate for the Flyers to not come out this season and kick the shit out of everybody wearing a different colored jersey than them. This man is out here protecting the surface world each and every day. The least the Flyers can do is play somewhat decent hockey at 7pm every other night. That means no giving up 17 combined goals in 2 games against the Rangers over the course of a week. That means no giving up 7 goals to the Bruins in a nationally televised outdoor game. That means no giving up 6 goals to the Buffalo Sabres--quite possibly one of the worst teams in league history--on multiple occasions.

All Flyers fans deserve more than that. But Jason Momoa truly deserves more. He deserves a deep playoff run at the very least. I'm not going to say he deserves a Stanley Cup because he got to bang Khaleesi so he's been fortunate enough in this lifetime. But a deep playoff run for sure.

Couple of Momoa sidenotes: 1) Super underrated Momoa movie is Braven. Just some quintessential "this dude kicks so much ass" type of role for Jason Momoa that deserves more notoriety. And a super underrated Momoa show is Frontier, which deserved so much more than just 3 seasons.

2) I'm going to try to speak this one into existence. My life's goal at the moment is to get Jason Momoa in a Meat Sweats video at some point. I mean he's a Flyers fan AND we have the same smoker. It's gotta happen eventually.