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Dumping Your Girlfriend On The Jumbotron At A Minor League Baseball Game Is As Diabolical As It Gets

Tired: Jumbotron proposals Wired: Jumbotron breakups

You really don't know what you're going to get at an Akron Rubberducks game. Jumbotron breakups sponsored by Ohio Amish Country are just par for the course. I don't care for marriage proposals at sporting events these days unless they end in glorious rejection. If you're a guy thinking that's how your person wants to experience their once in a lifetime moment then I can't imagine what other oversights you're committing on a daily basis. 

To the story at hand here, this move was not an oversight by Tim. This was a cold-blooded calculated strike and I am ecstatic for him. You don't spend time, thought, and money like that to dump a girl in front of thousands of people unless she really did you wrong. I'm talking like some shit out of Old School when Luke Wilson came home from his San Diego work trip only to find his girl getting ready to get gang-banged by a couple of blind-folded folks. I need to know what sparked such rage because it must have been vicious. 

The delivery from the PA announcer was fantastic too. 

The "from Tim!" was perfect.  Well done. 

Tim clearly did well for himself here, he's free of Alyssa's tyranny for good, but the real winner here are the Amish. Wanna talk about capitalizing on a moment? Feel like if you're getting dumped in public like that with it going viral on Twitter you need to abandon society and start fresh. No technology to worry about with the Amish. They actually have no way of ever finding out this happened to you. They don't even know what a Jumbotron is. Alyssa, I know you're hurting right now, but your next move is clear.