Give Me One Good Reason The Orioles Shouldn't Sign Bartolo Colon Right Now

Someone look me in the eye and tell me why the Orioles shouldn't sign Bartolo Colon right now and have him start tomorrow? They're the worst team in baseball, have lost 14 straight, have a run differential of -222(!!!!), and are trotting out guys like Keegan Akin who honest to god may be the worst pitcher in baseball, 0-7 with an 8.13 ERA and 1.82 WHIP. Why not call on Big Sexy out of the Mexican League to start the last month and a half of the season? This is a team who is CLEARLY rebuilding and outside of John Means has no real talent in their big league rotation. You know what Bartolo Colon brings to a MLB roster? Like 45 years of pitching experience, some PEDs in the past, a Cy Young, 4- All Star appearances, and a wealth of knowledge. Plus he would put asses in the seats. People would come from far and wide to see Colon in Baltimore. Look at that gray hair in the video, he's the old, old, old wiley veteran who can make one last appearance in the bigs. 

He hasn't been that bad in the Mexican League either, 6-2 with a 4.55 ERA, 40 Ks in 61.1 IP with only 10 walks. Those numbers don't blow you out of the water, but they'd be EASILY the best numbers on the Os. The birds do have the worst starting ERA in baseball at 6.18. We saw him get the Opening Day start a few months back in the Mexican League and it was a damn good start. The velocity isn't there, the strikeouts aren't there, but damnit he can still pitch! He won't walk anyone either. Look at that video up there, he's grooving it in there at about 80, but they're all strikes. That is more than 4/5ths of the Orioles rotation could do right now. Plus he could DH, when the Angels come to town in a few games we could see a nice DH/P matchup with Shohei Ohtani and Colon. I'd buy a Colon shirsey in a heartbeat, it would inject some life into a fanbase that is bubbling over with anger at the state of this team. If the Angelos family wanted to make a splash in this god awful season, they'd bring in Bartolo. Give him all the crabs in the locker room and let him chuck it every 5 days. The guy just loves baseball, who could be a better mentor that him? Give Bart a chance!