Tim Tebow's release from 2020's worst team in football has come as a shock to the system for a lot of us. Tebow himself. His family. His legion of loyal followers. The Almighty, I'm sure. But no one, but no one, is suffering in this moment like Skip Bayless. No one. As you can see from that above clip, he's metaphorically clinging to Tebow's fuselage as he takes off into unvoluntary retirement, destined for parts unknown (Think: A prime spot doing network coverage of college football). And like anyone trying so desperate an attempt to hold onto hope, it is not going well for Skip. As you can see.
Though you have to admire his devotion to a cause that was so obviously over, even before he was whiffing on blocks like a kid with no interest in youth football who's going through gthe motions and only on the team because his parents don't want him playing "Call of Duty" 10 hours a day.
While it was clear to anyone else, it was not to Skip. He clung to his belief like Linus in the Pumpkin Patch, against all hope and logic. Or, he did see the end coming and decided denial was his best coping mechanism. Unfortunately for him, al his hope and denial is out there for all to see. So that we may pick our teeth with his delusional twaddle about his favorite human being ever.
Remember his full-bodied orgasmic reaction to Shannon Sharpe giving him a Jaguars Tebow jersey? The internet does.
Then there was his insane defense of Tebow's non-blocks, in which Skip twisted his brain like a balloon animal to determine they were actually victories:
Then he was able to see through Urban Meyer's secret plot to keep Tebow's talents hidden. His own Manhattan Project that he would only release on the world when it would achieve maximum effectiveness:
Let's take you back a bit, to that day in spring practices where Skip's patron saint got praise for not messing up. That is, assuming he had a ball thrown to him or that the Jags actually had practice. I mean, he might have just gotten us on a technicality here:
Here's a chart-topping classic your parents used to dance to, him comparing Tebow - favorably - to Aaron Judge:
And you're not going to go this long in a Tim Tebow discussion without the blessings of the Holy Trinity of Tebow praise:
Circle gets the square! His "intangibles," his ability to do anything you can ask of a football player, and "All He Does Is Win!" That's three in a row, thanks for playing Tebow Squares, Skip Bayless. Now if all he did was make it past the first camp cuts in the exact middle of August, you might have a point somewhere in this insane drivel.
Still, T&P. Here's praying Skip's guy's next venture works out better for him. There's only so much sorrow a man can take.