Potential Car Thief Learns The Old Cliche The Hard Way — If It Seems Too Good To Be True, That Car You're Stealing Belongs To A UFC Fighter About To Ragdoll You Like A Small Child

Cliches get a bad rap, but as I always say, they became cliches for a reason: by being so true so many times it is now literally insulting and obnoxious and annoying to mention it out loud. Nothing starts off as overstated and obvious, it becomes that way after years and years of high performance and winning results. Basically "Cliche" is the Hall of Fame for facts. The most factual of all the facts. GOAT facts.

Take for example this classic: 

"If something seems too good to be true…it probably is." 

I'll use it in a sentence: 

If you are a car thief out and about on a beautiful day looking for cars to thieve, and you just happen to stumble upon a nice car, unoccupied, no driver or passenger, no human being in sight, in an empty, wide open parking lot, with the engine running: this is an absolutely perfect time to consider that it may be too good to be true. 

I mean you're a car thief — out of respect, I'll assume you're a solid one — heart always in it, put the time in perfecting your craft, making small tweaks to your workflow here and there to maximize your ability to boost and drop off at the chop shop all in one smooth frictionless process. In other words, you've seen and worked through a lot of possible car theft scenarios. You get this one a lot? Do you come across cars this nice, empty with the engine running and no witnesses in a square mile often? Are there seriously no alarm bells going off in your head that an MMA/UFC fighter is close by, doing what UFC/MMA guys love more than anything in the world: looking for an ass to kick? 

Maybe I'm just extra intuitive but if I'm in that situation, I just know instantly that the last two Instagram posts by the owner of this car are exactly these:

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Granted, I would not expect him to be wearing a fannypack. The fannypack is a twist, no question about it.  

But a guy breaking a face with a caption about "PAIN FIGHTS" lying in wait nearby just praying for a chance to ragdoll me like a tiny little toddler child, yes. That I expect. Because I respect cliche. 

And, not for nothing, but we're on pace for "attempted theft of car owned by a UFC fighter" becoming it's own cliche in the near future. I know there was the Derrick Lewis incident recently, but there have been multiple other very similar stories? I mean it's just far from the first time this specific ironic occurence has been blogged, which is wild, and awesome. 

This one is lucky all he lost was his hat and dignity and not 75% of his brain function: