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I'm Sorry But I Can't Just Sit Back And Allow Glenny To Act Like This Brisket Is Acceptable

If I wrote a blog about baseball that was violently wrong, I'd hope that Carrabis would step in and correct me. If I wrote a blog about college basketball that was wildly inaccurate, I'd hope that Reags would step in and correct me. If I wrote a blog at all, I'd hope that Big Ev would step in and ask me how I did that. 

The point I'm trying to make here is that if Glenny is going to write a blog defending this brisket, well then I feel it is my duty to step in and say no. 

Now I realize that when it comes to barbecue, everybody thinks they're a fucking expert. And that gets so annoying so fast. The easiest way to actually find out that somebody isn't an expert on something is if they tell you that they are. So when it comes to BBQ Twitter chirping away at this brisket to ol' Glennathan Balls, I can see how that can get his wires crossed. But you can't parlay your annoyance with BBQ Twitter into then perpetuating the idea that selling this brisket is acceptable behavior. 

Because the issue there is that there are folks who dedicate their entire lives to trying to perfect the craft of barbecue. People who put as much love and care into their barbecue as most folks put into raising their kids. And then there are other people out there who think you can just smoke a cigarette in the proximity of a cow, slather it up with sauce and then call that BBQ. And that's the stuff that ruins it for everybody else. Because there is somebody who is going to be trying brisket for the first time and they're going to get that slice. It's going to be so unbelievably fatty that they can't even eat it, and then they're going to be turned off of brisket for the rest of their life. Even if they ended up at Truth BBQ in Houston where you can get one of the greatest slices of brisket in the world...

...brisket for that person would have already been ruined. So they won't give it a chance because they don't think they like brisket. 

When it reality, they don't like the fact that someone just either A) didn't trim out enough of the deckle, B) didn't smoke the brisket long enough for that fat connecting the flat and the point to render all the way, or C) all of the above. And ESPECIALLY if you're going to be charging customers by the lb for a slice of brisket. Like if you're going to be charging a certain amount per pound and then you serve someone a slice that is half a pound of fat, then that's greasy behavior. 

Now if this were somebody inviting some buddies over to his house to watch a game after he put a brisket on his little backyard smoker, then it's perfectly acceptable. But to get upset at BBQ Twitter for saying maybe a place shouldn't be charging for a slice of moist that looks like it came out of a leaky oven? As the de facto head of barbecue here at Barstool Sports [dot] com, I must rebuke.