I Think This Means Darius Rucker & I Are Having A Boys Night Out On The Town

Alright boys night out!!!

This was a tough prompt we were given on an Answer the Internet question the other day. It was what celebrity would you like to go out with and have as a wing man. One of the first ones I said off the top of my head was Vince Vaughn which was instantly veto'd by everyone around me due to him being a certified fucking tree. When you're 5'8 (People forget Frank Sinatra was 5'8) you simply can't go out solo with a 6'5 guy. Not only is it hard to have a conversation, but you're also just automatically getting the shit end of the stick.

The next guy I brought I may have been both too impartial and too impractical on. I thought mentioned Billy Joel. My thought process was that he's 5'6 so that's big for me on the height forefront AND the ladies love him! Good thing he's 72-years-old and married so that sounds like the perfect combination of a wingman. Sadly that was also veto'd by the squad that was listening to my ideas. 

And finally I mentioned the legendary Darius Rucker. The lead singer of one of my favorite bands ever, Hootie & the Blowfish, and only 5'10. Perfect height. I'd call him Hootie but I've SPECIFICALLY read he doesn't like that so I'd never do that to my wing man. I'm thinking we can hit Nashville and have a couple cold ones at a few honky tonks as I make it a point not to chew his ears off about Hootie until I inevitably get too drunk at 3am. What a great night that'd be. Hide your girlfriends if we ever make out (We definitely will not).