The En Eff El Draft Show | Tonight 8PM ETTUNE IN

Boo Hoo, The Rich People In The Hamptons Are Complaining That All Of The New People In The Hamptons Are "Too Rich"

“There’s so much money now it’s nauseating,” said one woman who bought her house in Amagansett in 1991. “I’m a 1-percenter. But I bear no resemblance to these people.”

She blames the pandemic for the new crowd and Donald Trump’s tax cuts for making the wealthy even wealthier over the past four years. “Everyone with money is here,” she said. “If I weren’t here already, I wouldn’t come now. The conspicuous consumption is just gross.” After repeatedly passing by a house that belongs to “one of those hedge fund guys,” and watching him have enormous, fully-grown trees planted day after day, she said she finally stopped to ask the dozen or so workers on site about the cost. “They said they thought $50,000 to $75,000 a day,” she said. “I would suspect it’s closer to $100,000.” 

Given this summer’s crushing crowds, the Amagansett homeowner said she has to “work at relaxing,” and that the town is “a different place now. It’s the age of entitlement.”

*****pulls out cell phone, dials 9-1-1***** Hello? Yes, we're going to need a WAMBULANCE TO THE HAMPTONS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, MAYDAY MAYDAY, WE'RE LOSING THEM!!!!

Wah wah wah wah wah. Boo fucking hoo. The snooty rich people who have been living in the Hamptons for their whole lives are feeling "annoyed" by the amount of "disgustingly rich" people who are moving into town. Only rich people could shame other people for having "too much money." It's like when "old money" people talk shit about the "nuevo riche." Money is money. Who cares where it came from. Jay Gatsby had to deal with this exact same thing out in the Hamptons - can't a motherfucker just be rich in peace?

One 25-year-old told me she pooled her money with about 30 friends and friends of friends to get a house in Montauk for a month. And her $3,000 contribution for housing is nothing compared to what young people are spending at clubs. “Tables are absurd,” she said. “I’ve had friends who have ended the night with $7,000 bar bills.” She said one night she spent $60 on a one-mile Uber trip home. Another has reported $600-plus rides for trips between two hamlets, blaming the price hike on increased demand from “tourists.”

3,000 dollars for 3 months in the Hamptons is ABSURDLY cheap. 1,000 a MONTH? And it's a house big enough for 30 people? I think we've figured out the problem here. Everyone who's complaining about the Hamptons, is old. They don't understand that things are expensive now. They're the same people who say "I was married with two kids and a mortgage at your age!" You don't know shit about the world anymore, old ass. This is what things cost now. Eat or be eaten. 

The same price hike appears to be manifesting across the board; the more than $88 price tag on a lobster Cobb salad at the ultra-pricey Duryea’s in Montauk seems to have broken the spirit of those willing to drop a regular person’s mortgage payment on a single meal. No one flinches at $150,000 for a one-month rental house that isn’t even beachside, but food is a touchy subject. One hot lunch spot in Bridgehampton left a group still hungry and a lot lighter in the wallet. “The bill was $300 for four people, and we didn’t have any alcohol,” said one woman who thinks this year’s prices are much higher than last year’s. “We had two iced teas, a frisée salad, Caesar salads with chicken, and some oysters.”

First of all, I want to see this "300 dollar bill for 3 people." Chicken caesar salads were probably 25-30 bucks each, the frisee I'm sure was the same. Iced teas are like 5 bucks a pop. Fresh oysters right from the sea? That'll set you back. I notice they don't say how many oysters they ordered. 6? 12? 24? I went out to a VERY nice restaurant in East Hampton a few weeks ago. A half dozen oysters cost $29 bucks. They order two dozen oysters, and that's half the bill. 

Again. THIS IS WHAT THINGS COST. People are mad that they've spent years and years making The Hamptons look like this super exclusive, ultimate destination, and now people actually want to go. They're not wrong, it's a madhouse out there. The bars/restaurants are cool, by design. It's always been an extension of Manhattan; half of the restaurants are sister versions of hot spots in the city! The restaurant I referenced above, Le Bilboquet, is! These places keep their prices high because the new dumb rich people are willing to pay them. If the Hamptonites don't like how things are going, JUST LEAVE. (but not to the Jersey Shore. Let's leave the shore how it is. Keep letting people think it's garbage.)

Oh, also, that $90 lobster cobb salad at Duryeas is a obviously a waste of money. It's delicious, but it's a cobb salad with lobster in it. The lobster craze is something we should start getting mad about. Acting like it's the biggest delicacy in the world. They're bottom feeders!!! We don't talk about this enough!!!!!