Hackers Steal $600 MILLION In Largest Cypto Heist In History And Then Promptly Started Returning The Funds Making It The Lamest Heist Ever Too

Hackers have made off with more than $600 million in various cryptocurrencies, likely the largest heist ever in the burgeoning world of decentralized finance.

The hackers targeted PolyNetwork, a decentralized finance platform that enables people to swap tokens across different blockchains.

The theft affects tens of thousands of people, PolyNetwork said in a letter that was posted on Twitter and addressed to the anonymous hackers.

“The amount of money you hacked is the biggest one in the defi history,” the letter reads. “Law enforcement in any country will regard this as a major economic crime and you will be pursued.”

Every day I feel like I have more and more "old man yells at crowd" moments and this is now on top of the list. When I hear the word "heist" I think of the movies. Dramatic and bold events pulled off by daring men. They're stealing diamonds or the declaration of independence or ripping off Luftansa. You hear heist and this scene should pop in your head


Now the entire crime syndicate is the worst parts of "The Social Network". It's not gangsters in suits cracking skulls. It's skinny dudes hopped up on aderral and mountain dew cracking codes. Just not the same. There isn't going to be a scene in a movie someday with Ray Liotta saying that as far back as he can remember he wanted to be a computer hacker. The world is changing. Even the criminal world and each step of change seems less cool than what the movies taught us about previous generations. Now, did these hackers do something sweet like buy a super yacht, fill it with instagram models, live like Dan Bilzarian with wifi in international waters becoming real modern day pirates? NOPE. They just started returning the money. Only $4.8M as of the time of this blog, but it's being returned. Just a bunch of regular schnooks choosing to lead of life of egg noodles and ketchup. Nothing cool about pulling heists anymore. 

PS: I thought one of the BIG selling points of crypto was that it couldn't be hacked. Like all the accounts had a encrypted code that couldn't be broken into unless you had some special password or whatever to do the transaction. As someone who is a moron this is a black eye for the crypto market.