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We Had ANOTHER Flight Attendant Duct Tape A Passenger To Their Seat, This Time A 13 Year Old Kid That Allegedly Tried To Kick Out The Airplane Window

CBSN LA- An American Airlines flight from Maui to Los Angeles was diverted to Honolulu after a 13-year-old boy became disruptive. Witnesses said the boy attempted to kick out the window next to his seat and became physical with his own mother about an hour into the flight.

I find it fascinating that after all the innovations made in flight travel since the Wright brothers started fucking around with aeronautics, duct tape remains the most logical solution to getting unruly passengers to sit down or shut up. Not that I am criticizing duct tape. Far from it. It may be an archaic from a technological stand point, but duct tape works every fucking time no matter the job be it fixing ductwork, tying up rowdy airline customers, or removing warts.

Giphy Images.

I honestly think there's a chance football doctors can just duct tape a running back's leg when he tears his ACL and get at least another few years of games out of him before surgery would be required.

However duct tape's versatility is the reason this solution has to stop. The airlines can't be using perfectly good duct tape that could fix a million of the other problems with an airplane shooting through the air hundreds of miles per hours with hundreds of people on it. If a seat breaks because someone my size sat down too quickly or the daily Royal Rumble between passengers spills into a row, the easiest way to fix that seat won't be possibly because the flight attendants used the last of it to tie down the dickhead spewing hate or a kid trying to kill the whole plane by kicking out a window because his mom wouldn't give him her peanuts or some shit.

What we need to do is make it legal to throw people off from planes if they act like dickheads. Put it in fine print on the ticket that if you try to kick out a window, grope someone, or inspire a full blown brawl, you are getting literally thrown out of the plane. The quality of your parachute will obviously mirror your class of seat, with first class passengers getting the shit they give out in the military, business class getting slightly less than military grade, and poors like me getting an old bedsheet tied to a backpack. By boarding the plane, you accept the responsibility for your actions. If you don't want to end up stranded in the middle of the country or the ocean, don't act like a dick. What a novel concept!

For now, it'll just be a heave-ho from the side door of the plane until we get an affordable ejection seat technology that can be loaded on every airplane. But considering the amount of fuckfaces that don't know how to act causing shit in the unfriendly skies on a daily basis, an ejector seat is going to become the most important resource for airlines in the future outside of gas, metal, and pilots.