So this picture popped up as the Phillies were driving the final nail into the Mets weekend and I gasped because that IS Frank The Tank. From his face to his love of the old ballgame to his hobby of digital photography. Everything about it screams Frank The Tank while also screaming Bizarro Frank The Tank because he's wearing similar styled glasses that are not meant to withstand the rigor of multiple daily baseball-fueled meltdowns, rocking the jersey of the Mets rival, and snapping pictures on an iPhone instead of the Tank approved Android.
Is this Frank is a phony? A fugazi? A Philadelphia variant of Frank Fleming who shall be known as Phrank Phleming or Phrank The Tank for the rest of this blog that always believes that Fightin' Phillies have a chance to win until the very last out, wouldn't touch a soda if he was paid to, and has the most optimistic demeanor about life you've ever seen because he cashes in nothing but W's in life?
Or, and trust me this sounds far fetched but hear me out, has our Frank has gone so far to the dark side of fandom with the Mets over the years that Phrank Phleming was immaculately conceived bu the Baseball Gods to bring balance to the Force like Anakin Skywalker. It's honestly all on the table, as is our Frank saying fuck it and becoming a Phillies fan after decades of pain. He famously switched from being a Celtics fan to a Suns fan to a Nets fan once upon a time.
Maybe the Mets being in first place for around 100 days this season before falling to third made him snap and refuse to ever believe in Steve Cohen or the Mets again. Honestly, that is probably the best case scenario for Frank as well as any positive Mets fan who follows him on Twitter.
Anyway, can't wait until Phrank becomes my new coworker in the next month or so and creates the Allow Us 2 Be Frank podcast with our Tank.