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If Jake Gyllenhaal Isn't Showering Then Maybe We Shouldn't Either

Q: Is there anything revelatory about your shower ritual?

I always am baffled that loofahs come from nature. They feel like they’ve been made in a factory but, in fact, it’s just not true. Since I was young, it’s amazed me. More and more I find bathing to be less necessary, at times. I do believe, because Elvis Costello is wonderful, that good manners and bad breath get you nowhere. So I do that. But I do also think that there’s a whole world of not bathing that is also really helpful for skin maintenance, and we naturally clean ourselves.

First off, I want to note that this comes only a few days removed from Kristen Bell and Dak Shepard telling the world that they have gone up to 5-6 days without bathing their kids. 

Lets start out with this. The take that you can go multiple days without bathing comes from a rather large place of privilege. Yuck, did I just say that? But it's true! Most of the jobs I've had in my life have been blue collar. I was a grip, installer, barn hand, fish monger, and other things to put myself through college for a degree I don't use at all. My Dad and both my brothers are blue collar workers. To go without showering any given day means you are getting soaked BYU style by a dick made of sweat, grime, shit, scales or worse. When you are an actor in a sometimes literal ivory tower, I'm sure that isn't a problem you face most days. 

However, I don't think that is ole Jakey boy's intention with this. Medically speaking, it's probably not necessary for a guy in his position to be showering every day. It's gross and a weird thing to admit, but whatever. I think he is just trying to say that showering every day is not for him in his current lifestyle. 

The bigger takeaway I have from this, is that if not showering will make me look like Jake Gyllenhaal, then I will rip the showerhead out of my wall right now. And showering is a big deal to me! Not even strictly for the cleanliness aspect. For me, shower is the physical manifestation of the hit 1979 song Escape (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes. I sit down (yea, I'm a shower sitter) and let the warm mist from my bean shower wash away all my troubles. 

How does Gyllenhaal unwind if not in the shower? Does he just have a sound mental state or something? Fucking weirdo.