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The Kings GM Is Basically Guaranteeing They Are Going To Trade For Ben Simmons And It's All Thanks To A Basic Rule Of Life

I'm a man of firm beliefs and one of those is no take backs. A head nod from guy to guy is the same as a written contract. It's on the same level as a handshake in my eyes. You don't acknowledge someone with a head nod to a statement or a request without it being locked in stone. So congrats, Ben Simmons is going to be a King. I don't love that because it means my beloved De'Aaron Fox would end up as a Sixer and I don't want any Kentucky player to end up in Philly (or Boston or the Lakers or the Nets or the Pacers). 

Now back to the whole rules of life thing there are certain ones I will fight to the death. I mentioned the head nod counting as a contract, but others that come to mind for me: 

- No texting 'hey can we talk'. Nobody needs that stress. I don't care who you are. 

- If you share a password with someone you still talk to (basically not an ex) you are required to share any password changes with said person. 

- Eat and drink whatever you want, whenever you want. Stop caring about that basically in college. 

- If you're shooting around with one other person, they get a layup after a miss so you can get in position for a spot up jumper. 

- Lefties are always prettier at everything

- Texting stops once someone hits you with a 'liked' on a text thing. Don't keep the convo going. 

Now back to Simmons. It's no secret he needs a new team. He's still a good player no matter how many times we see him passing up on an open layup in the 4th quarter of a playoff game. Philly isn't for him. Surround him with shooting, let him initiate offense and get his ass in the post. Plus, I can't think of a better spot for him than Sacramento. Nobody gives a shit about the Kings and I say this as someone who loved those Mike Bibby, Chris Webber, Peja, Bobby Jackson, Vlade teams. Those teams were awesome. But this version of the Kings? No one is tuning into them on a nightly basis. Let him go somewhere and fly under the radar while trying to fix his shit.

Rules are rules. A WojBomb should be coming in any second now.