Tremendous Dickhead Gets Duct-Taped To His Seat For Allegedly Assaulting Two Flight Attendants And Screaming That His Parents Are Worth "Two Million Dollars"

I think we, as a society, have got to a point where we can start to change some words and common phrases. And that phrase I'm here to talk about is duct tape. I would wager less than 10% of duct tape consumers go anywhere near a duct with that aforementioned tape. And I'd go as far to say even a smaller portion makes the effort to pronounce that "t" at the end of duct. It's duck tape. Always has been, always will be. Now, the logical counter argument is that the tape has even less to do with ducks than it does ducts, even if we have found more uses for the miracle tape than initially intended. But, and this is my largest point on the matter, ducks rule. Anyone who grew up in the Starter jacket era agrees. We have a different appreciation for the mighty duck as well as the noble hornet than any other generation. It's high time we adjust our diction to reflect what we really mean in our hearts. The ball is in your court, Miriam-Webster.

As for this dickhead, he should have to stay on the plane until he gets out of the tape. It keeps making flights all around the continental US and he's stuck there for as long as that duck tape holds. Which, if you know anything about duck tape, means he's gonna be living in a puddle of his own piss and shit for months. Which seems like a fair punishment for alleged sexual harassment. Let alone announcing that your parents are worth a rough estimate of TWO (2) million dollars. Holy shit what a weak flex. And this kid's from Miami? $2 million doesn't get you anywhere in Miami. Duncan Robinson just signed for $90 million yesterday and kid thinks his shit don't stink because he knows two people who can scrounge together a couple mil. Absolutely abhorrent behavior. Bragging about your parents having two million dollars in 2021 is like bragging about driving a Dodge Stratus. Nobody gives a fuck, pal.