Pour One Out For Some Legendary Beers That Are Being Discontinued, Including Milwaukee's Best, Steel Reserve, And Keystone Ice

Fooddive - According to a report in AdAge, the brands that will sunset include Milwaukee’s Best Premium (but not its ice and light varieties), Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor Ice (but not the core brand), Henry Weinhard’s Private Reserve, Keystone Ice, Hamm’s Special Light, Keylightful (a fruity line extension of Keystone Light), Icehouse Edge, Magnum, Miller High Life Light, Steel Reserve 211 and Olde English HG 8000.

This move should come as no surprise, considering Molson Coors' consistent efforts to change its strategy and turn around its sales. As consumers have become more interested in other beverage options — both alcoholic and not —beer sales have weighed on many traditional brewers.

(First off, if you didn't slug down your fair share of The Beast that was piss warm back in high school or college did you even live?)

Out with the old, in with the new as the saying goes. And in this case, the "old" are the go-to brands that our favorite panhandlers, and street creatures have kept afloat all these years. 

Let's break it down:

Steel Reserve 211

I'd be lying if I didn't say Steel Reserve held a special place in my heart back when I was in high school. 

Going to bribe crackheads and miscreants of all sorts at Great Brook Valley's liquor stores for booze was spinning a Wheel of Fortune that would make Pat and Vannah green with envy. You never knew what you were going to get. Slide a hard-earned $20 into one of those characters hands with the agreement they'd go inside and return back with alcohol for you was a roller coaster ride like you read about. Sometimes they'd come out with your exact order down to a T. With exact change to boot. Service you'd normally see at The Capital Grille. Other times you'd be lucky to get the knock-off of the knock-off version of what you asked for. (Insert the 40 oz's, malt liquors, etc.) Other times, they just wouldn't come out of the store and you'd end up in a game of chicken. Who could outwait the other? Finally, you'd realize they weren't budging and you got hustled out of your money. (Or they just snuck out the back door). 

But sometimes, you'd score and your buyer would come through. And more times than not, you'd open up that paper bag and there'd be a couple Steel Reserve 211's staring back at you.

And these things would put you on your fucking ass. 

Malt liquor really does hit differently. 

Also, there was nothing cooler when you were underage than drinking a 40 oz. out of a paper bag. Well actually, there was a ton of shit cooler, pretty much everything, but not much made you feel cooler or more of a bad ass. 

Especially if you had this playing as your soundtrack.

Milwaukee's Best Premium

As mentioned above, this redneck delicacy was fittingly nicknamed "The Beast" growing up. You could often find Milwaukee's best at all your lower-tier liquor stores or rolling around the floor of your town alchoholic's pickup truck.

Olde English HG 8000

What marketing genius came up with this name and logo?

This sounds more like a Super Soaker model than a 40 oz. 

Have never heard or seen of this version of Olde English before so am unable to comment. I'm sure it was a splendid beverage.

Miller High Life Light

If you know me you know I'm a big High Life guy. Finer tastes require finer products and there's no beer finer than The Champagne of Beers. 

That said, I have never ever seen or heard of these before. If that makes me a schmuck that that's on me. But how do you make a light version of what is already an extremely light beer? Is this just beer-flavored water? I need to get my hands on these and try them before they go sionara. 

Keystone Ice

Like Vanessa Williams, we went and saved the best for last.

Good old "Stones" baby. 

Not sure if this was just a Central Mass urban legend or if it was nationwide, but some genius started a rumor that Keystone's were just Coors Lights that were "dented" so they weren't good enough to make the Varsity Team. Instead, a Keystone label was slapped on them and they were sold for like 30 cents on the dollar. Keystone Lights and Keystone Ice were cheaper than water I'm pretty sure. And the Keystone Ice's got you fucked up. 

That whole "ice" crazy was nuts. This was back before every hipster and craft beer maker was dropping 8.5% volume beers on us so getting your hands on a Molson XXX, or Molson Ice, or Keystone Ice was legitimately going 2-for-1 and doubling up how quick you could get hammered.

p.s- Latrell Sprewell having a 70-foot yacht docked in a Milwaukee harbor that he lived on, named "Milwaukee's Best" will always be one of my favorite stories ever. Sucks they couldn't just let the man live though. 

p.p.s. - anybody remember "Red Dog"?