Kyle Lowry Is Holding the Entire NBA Free Agent Market Hostage; Let the Chaos Begin!!

When was the last time a single player held the NBA hostage when it came to free agency? Because that’s exactly what Kyle Lowry is doing right this very minute. No one can make a move it seems until Lowry decides what he’s going to do. 

Lowry is like the head of a mafia family deciding when to take a shot that leads to an all out five families war. 

Giphy Images.

Here are the players: the Miami Heat, the Toronto Raptors, the New Orleans Pelicans, the Dallas Mavericks, and the Philadelphia 76ers. 

Three of those teams are getting snake bitten. The winner gets… the rights to pay an undersized 6 foot, 36 year old point guard upwards of $100 million!!! 

WINNER WINNER chicken dinner. He does have a WAGON though so that’s nice. He’s also a champion. Jimmy Butler, a guy who rarely has good things to say about anyone, gushes for Kyle Lowry… even unironically called it an honor anytime he could suit up with him during one All-Star game. 

Teams are literally gutting their rosters to get him. Dallas moved out Josh Richardson to get space to sign him. New Orleans has risked pissing off Lonzo Ball by openly saying they want him. Philadelphia whiffed on Lowry at the trade deadline last year and watched their title aspirations disappear in one bricked free throw after another in the playoffs and are under pressure to bring him in. Miami just picked up a team option on their own undersized old ass point guard to the tune of $20 million dollars just to lure Toronto into doing a sign and trade for Lowry. If the deal can’t get done, they’re stuck with an asset they SURELY would prefer not to keep. 

I mean, it’s ridiculous. I like Kyle Lowry but let’s not act like he’s Chris Paul. 

Truthfully, it’s baffling to me that so many teams are acting like a horny 25 year old virgin, thirsty for Kyle Lowry. 

And given that Kyle Lowry is now more desirable than he quite literally has EVER been in his entire career (call it the Chris Paul effect), I would love to see him take his SWEET ass time, teasing all of his suitors before he ripped satisfaction from them at the very last minute. 

Why? Because why not? And then teams will have to choose between signing someone like Dennis Schröder and Corey Joseph. No disrespect to Corey Joseph. 


Buckle up, folks. 2021 NBA free agency is going to be a bumpy ride. 

Giphy Images.