Dave Portnoy RIPS Into Smitty And Believes That Unproductive Bum Can't Do ANYTHING...And He's 100% RIGHT!!!
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GO PRES GO! GO PRES GO! GO PRES GO!
Of COURSE that moron Smitty didn't put together the video honoring #THISLEAGUE! I came up with the idea, aggregated all the resources, went into the biggest hype group at Barstool - CBS STANS - and had my loyal amigo TJ (s/o TJ's Dad) masterfully edit it together! And then I put it out at the perfect time while following it up appropriately on the blog and social media! Smitty did NOTHING! Good for Pres for finally calling out that lazy BUM yet again! I even had to steal content from him and Trysta before to actually make it good! Smitty would NEVER be this imaginative over a Twitter bet and end up creating better content for all of Barstool! #SomeThings!!!
Nope! Dumbdumb Smitty doesn't do dick! It's ALL me! As for I, CBS, and my true identity, we're apparently putting some HIGH stakes on it!
"Smitty is not CBS, I would put my life on it." - Lord and Savior David Portnoy, DPS #43, 43:43
And to be honest, if I didn't follow what goes on at Barstool SPORTS anymore, I'd put my life on it, too! There's NO way Smitty's mind can work in any creative or even useful way! Just listen to our Lord and Savior himself talking about that BLOCKHEAD'S dingdong brain:
HA! Smitty even agrees that everything that BLOCKHEAD may accidentally do well should be credited to our Lord And Savior El Presidente! And ignore the fact those Smitty/The Herp Who Shall Not Be Named deposition tapes occurred in April, what has Smitty done for you lately? Like in the last 6 months? NOTHING! And it's proven, too! Akin to Ball, random Twitter polls with zero context Don't Lie!
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DAMN! And what does that lazy BUM Smitty have to say about that?
That tender LABIA accepts the embarrassment for the good of his coworkers instead of pressuring to bring down his peers in the name of CONTENT! For ONCE he had a chance to stamp his nuts down for the greater glory of Barstool and rightfully watch heads roll, but NOPE! That BLOCKHEAD accepts the fact he's done DICK in the last 6 months! Other than the fine work Smitty and Nate do on Cracking Aces, of course! Somebody has to keep the lights on around here after Call Her Daddy left! Besides that, NOTHING! Smitty's a lazy BUM! Now just do us all a favor and don’t google anything with that Herp Who Shall Not Be Named deposition or Barstool in Sixers playoffs or the lazy bum being on Picks Central more than people who are actually ON Picks Central or Barstool Gametime or the blogging page on Barstool Sports or anything with #THISLEAGUE or Barstool Philly First Time, Long Time and the Delco Softball League or taking Sacrilegious Commie T to the ballpark on Easter Sunday or literally everything from this week on The Dozen cause that Blockhead has provided ZERO productivity in the last 6 months or EVER at Barstool Sports and we need to keep that narrative ALIVE!!! Ignore that virgin having a kid 3 months ago and not taking a real paternity leave, too! No excuses, content like a champion! What a BLOCKHEAD!!!
PS - I already blogged about it two years ago when that lazy BUM Smitty totally fell asleep after an all night stream for totally the FIRST TIME he was ever going viral! Lord Portnoy's added concoctions to reality keep getting better and better every time he tells his stories! #GOPRESGO