I'd Like To Add To My List Of Grievances From The Snake Draft: Cold Butter
We had our grievances draft this week starring Mr Michael Portnoy Esq. I didn't win and I think it is because I omitted what is probably my biggest grievance of them all...restaurants that give you cold butter for your bread. We have all no doubt been in this position. You sit down to a nice meal. The first thing they bring you is your bread. Let me tell you something...if that butter isn't room temp and the bread isn't warm then you need to get up from your chair and walk out because any place that serves you cold, refrigerated butter doesn't know the first thing about food or service. You're going to try to spread that cold ass butter across your roll, bread, croissant, or muffin and it is going to be torn to fucking shreds. Your bread is ruined. You might get carpel tunnel syndrome. You'll have literal CHUNKS of butter in one bite and dry crumbs on the other. It is the WORST. I'd rather you spit in my drink than give me cold butter with my bread. And yet...the vast majority of you people CHOOSE to have this in your life at home. A place where you make all the rules
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nearly 80% of you are intentionally making your life worse by keeping your butter exclusively in the fridge.
Now, of course, you don't need to store all of your butter at room temp. You shouldn't. HOWEVAH, the second you peel back that tin foil wrapping and slice into the butter it belongs on the counter until the stick of butter is gone
***quick interuption***
There is only one butter worth buying and it is Kerrygold Irish Butter(salted), no free ads, but that is the GOAT butter. It's why I used it for the thumbnail picture
People will say that it will go bad at room temp
The FDA says you're wrong, bud. You will NEVER get sick from butter left out. Some unsalted butter may have it's flavor profile altered, but it won't go "bad" unless you leave it out for a week. If you're cooking a decent amount with that butter it'll never be an issue.
I want your lives to be better and easier. I want it to be like butter…room temp butter. That is the point of this blog. If you own or operate a restaurant of any kind please serve room temp butter or…have be whipped because whipped butter is fire too.
You can watch the full episode from Monday(probably my favorite ever) here