The Truth About Skyline Chili After Gary Cohen Attempted To Murder It On TV During The Mets/Reds Game

Alright, let's set the record straight here on the most polarizing food in the nation. Skyline chili/Cincinnati chili, whatever you want to call it. People won't be able to handle the truth in this blog, on both sides, and that's okay. But I'm the perfect person for this since I'm not born and raised here but have lived here long enough for Cincinnati to be home. 

Sidenote: People ask me how I became an Orioles fan and this is a good example to explain it. My old man is a Mets fan, we moved to York, Pennsylvania when I was young. Pops told me not to be a Mets fan like him, rest of the family are Yankees fans. Closest team was the Orioles - cleanest jerseys in the game, Cal Ripken Jr., soon to have Brady Anderson and soon to have Camden Yards. Was a no-brainer, except for the whole never winning thing.

You want the truth? Here it is.

That version of Skyline Chili is fucking gross. No doubt about it. This is chili on top of spaghetti, there's a massive difference here. Cincinnati chili on a hot dog? Phenomenal - they are the best. Putting it on a plate of pasta? Fucking disgusting. That's the key. Well, the key is accepting and understand what Skyline Chili is. 

Now you might even be thinking - what is this? It doesn't look like chili. Well, Cincinnati chili isn't what Joe from accounting claims he makes every Sunday and brings in for lunch on Monday. Cincinnati chili is a much thinner chili, almost like a liquid or a dip. It's a sauce or a topping. It needs a different name than chili and it would be accepted across the world as fine, which it is. 

Again, the biggest problem is putting it on pasta. That's where even I draw the line. But that's what people only want to see or think of when they hear Skyline Chili. The coneys are delicious, great lunch. The fries are good. There's even shit like the chili cheese sandwich or chilitos or wraps. That's what Skyline needs to be promoting, not the pasta bullshit. This is still a society and rules say the only thing that goes on top of pasta is marinara, vodka sauce, alfredo, you get the point. 

Well, let me be more correct here. The biggest problem from an image standpoint is putting it on pasta. The biggest problem is the poop. Yes, you will shit your brains out, but that comes with the territory. Doesn't matter if you're eating Skyline or burritos or spicy wings or Thai or anything like that. It will destroy your digestive system for a few moments. Plan the eating experience correctly. 

So there's the truth. I think a lot of the hate stems from the fact that first timers often have a much different idea of what Skyline actually is before they try a meal. Go in with an open mind. If you’re expecting Joe from accounting’s world famous chili, then yeah, you’ll end up hating it. Also just get the coneys. Order is pretty cut and dry. Coneys (pick the amount based on hunger + freedom to shit after), habanero cheese, no onions. Cheese fries with habanero cheese. 

Fuck, I'm getting this for lunch now. Thanks a lot, Gary.