Lighten the Fuck Up! Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend...

Matt Baron. Shutterstock Images.

An attractive young woman just finished having lunch in the mall with her husband and after he went back to work she went into an upscale jewelry store and began browsing around… She immediately spotted a beautiful emerald and diamond necklace sparkling brilliantly inside one of the glass display cases and walked directly over to it to get a closer look… 

As she bent over to look at it she inadvertently broke wind and immediately looked around nervously to see if anyone was close enough to have heard it…

As she turned around, an older, well-dressed salesman was standing behind her… He smiled and politely greeted the young woman, "Good day, Madam. How may I help you today?"

She was relieved that the salesman wasn't close enough at the time of her little "mishap" and that she had escaped what might've been a very embarrassing moment…  

Then, in a classy, very dignified voice she asked, "Sir, what is the cost of this lovely diamond necklace?" Without the slightest hesitation the salesman replied, "Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're gonna shit yourself when I tell you the price…"

* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968