The Philadelphia Phillies Are Trying To Make The Entire City Look Like A Bunch Of Dickheads

Yeah guys umm....well....I don't really know how else to say this but....

That's a dick. A big, veiny, triumphant dick. With a slight upcurve and a set of supple nuts. And the Philadelphia Phillies want you to wear that on your head. In public. Like on purpose. 

And the worst part about this is that you know these hats are going to sell to the ironic crowd. Which is only going to incentivize the Phillies to do more of this shit in the future. I can already see the Wildwood boardwalk being filled with these things. Just a bunch of midcalf socks, slides, basketball shorts below the knees, "free hugs" tshirt and dickhead hats everywhere you turn. It doesn't matter to the Phillies that you bought the hat as a joke. The check still cashes all the same. 

Anyway, at the very least they should make the bullpen wear these during games. I'd say you could put a few jizz marks coming out of the top of the logo but the MLB is trying to crack down on sticky substances.