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I Don’t Give Out Locks But If I Did Then I Would Tell You To Pound The Joey Gallo Exclusive

It doesn’t get more straightforward than this. We hired Megan last week and everyone is saying she’s flaming hot. Picks winners easier than I cut pastrami farts. She’s up big units, knows her stuff, blah blah blah. Everyone’s a winner until you’re a loser. 

Then I get word her first big exclusive is Joey Gallo in the home run derby and I actually think she’s on to something here guys. This is how you get everyone’s attention. Sound logic layered in simple yet applied analysis. 

So here I am in support of the Joey Gallo play. To me the bracket sets up way too easily. And that's no disrespect to Trey Mancini's story, Matt Olson following me on IG, Trevor Story being a certified bad boy, or Salvador Perez's insatiable, unquenchable thirst to play baseball every single fucking day. This is actually me just saying I like the matchups a lot. 

31% of his flyballs go for homeruns. He will be doing nothing but launching balls into Denver airspace tonight. The bat path, the ballpark, the humidor and the Rangers being dogshit mean this is his shot. Joey Gallo actually has a chance here to make the Rangers fans proud during the prime of his career. Something nobody really ever thought would happen but now they just drafted Jack Leiter and you're telling me he has to run through this competition? I like that a lot. 

As for Ohtani. He's too smart to take it seriously and I have a hunch he's getting side money to participate to boost Japanese TV ratings. Anyways that's what I would do. Then I'd casually and politely lose to Juan Soto and then get some rest because I'm the best baseball player on the planet right now and possibly of all time. 

But tonight doesn't belong to Ohtani. It belongs to Joey Gallo at +550. 

More on new hire Megan here