The Mets Somehow, Some Way Landed Kumar Rocker With The 10th Pick Of The MLB Draft

Did Sandy do it again or did Sandy do it again?!? Or do I somehow thank Brodie for this since his inability to build a team that could make the playoffs in a shortened season where half the league made the playoffs gave the Mets even a shot at Kumar Rocker?


I'll be the first to admit that I have nooooooo fucking clue about pretty much anything involved with the Major League Baseball Draft since I don't follow high school baseball, never gave a fuck about the College World Series until Barstool Mississippi & Co. decided to #GrowTheGame, and the best players are often not drafted where they should be because the economics of baseball lead to players not ending up with the team that drafted them all the goddamn time.

Yet despite all that, I feel like the Mets straight up STOLE Kumar Rocker in the draft today if for nothing else than I heard Carrabis, Coley, and countless Red Sox fans gassing up him and Jack Leiter on my timeline ever since they traded Mookie Betts last year. Again, I don't follow baseball closely outside of the Mets along with any prospects that sniff their Top 10 rankings, but I don't need to be some scout driving 500 miles in my Toyota Camry to know when a pitcher has an electric arm and perfect Fuck You demeanor to thrive in the Bigs in the biggest city in the U.S.



All you gotta do is put a stud like that in Uncle Stevie's newly established infrastructure as well as let him pick the brain of the best pitcher on the planet and you just may have yourself a home run pick (I used a baseball term to keep it simple for you guys). Even the notorious negative New York newspapers have to love the pick since having a guy with the names Kumar and Rocker are tailor made for both positive and negative headlines. As for me, I just have to read a few tweets to convince myself he will either be somewhere between Tom Seaver, Doc Gooden, and Jacob deGrom or a mix of all three.


The only downsides I can see to the Mets drafting Kumar Rocker at 10 yesterday is that they didn't draft him the day before, which would've allowed them to start him vs. the Pirates yesterday instead of having that nightmarish bullpen game, and his last name reminds me of the asshole who used to pitch for the Braves. But even my pal Chris spinzoned that perfectly.

Just like that, Kumar Rocker's goals as a Big Leaguers have been established:

1. Help the Mets win a World Series, preferably this year

2. Make the name John Rocker cease to even be a distant memory in Mets fans' minds, preferably all peoples' minds

3. Get elected to the Hall of Fame, preferably on the first ballot