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Carlos Correa and Jose Altuve Are Skipping the All-Star Game Because They're Too Cowardly to Share a Clubhouse With the Guys They Cheated Against

It had been a while since I got riled up over the Houston Astros stealing a championship — and nearly doing so a second time — so I'm glad Jose Altuve and Carlos Correa took this opportunity to remind us all what gigantic cowards they are. The pair of Astros has chosen to skip next week's All-Star Game, with Correa citing staying home with his pregnant wife and Altuve just spewing some nonsense about needing a vacation to play better in the second half.

At least Correa has a built-in excuse for why he's afraid to share a clubhouse with the same guys he cheated to beat. And I'm sure he actually does want to be with his wife, those two things aren't mutually exclusive. But somebody should have given Altuve something better to say than that. He was doing his best to avoid just coming right out and saying he's a bitch and doesn't want to have to face the consequences of his own actions for a couple days.

So what's the plan here, exactly? Are these guys never going to go to an All-Star Game for the rest of their careers? At least that would be some sort of self-imposed punishment, I guess — even if it only comes due to their own cowardice. Or are they just going to wait until most of the guys they actually cheated out of chances to win a title are out of baseball and then enjoy their remaining few All-Star selections?

I just hate these guys so much. They cheated their asses off. They were protected by Major League Baseball. They never apologized and turned it into some sort of rallying cry like it was them against the world.

And while it says a lot that Correa and Altuve don't even have the balls to play one game with guys outside of those they've brought into their cheating ring, the All-Star Game is better off without them. I prefer my Midsummer Classics sans cheating assholes.