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Taking A Shit During The Most Pivotal Moment Of Barstool Vs America Is Simply A Power Move Which Isn't Up For Debate

Taking a dump during the most pivotal moment of the game is literally my middle name. That's how I roll. The setting for this was that the blue team at the beginning of last night's episode was the big bad "3-headed dragon" and little old me- their only goal was to make sure I did not win the captaincy so they can send me over to the yellow like the red-headed stepchild that I am. Well guess what? This guy fucking hunkered down, picked a great partner in Angelo, and absolutely annihilated that 3-headed dragon in bowling. It was a GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENT.

And what does a guy like me do to celebrate a huge accomplishment like that? We go off in silence and take a dope shit to think about life and that's exactly what I did. Shoutout to Punch Bowl Social in Chicago for not only the extremely cleanly bathrooms, but also their Salsa Adobo we were served after our bowling endeavors. Best salsa these tastebuds have ever come across.

BUT let's get back to the task at hand. Those guys we're on my ass nonstop trying to get me to give in to their deal when they could not have been less trustworthy. I got fucking Pat over calling me demanding because I'm asking for deals when I'M THE ONE WHO WON THE CAPTAINCY while he's openly trying to play a trick on me, maybe learn how to bowl then come talk to me pal!! And then on all that they want me to go think about them fucking me over in my special place? My office? The bathroom? Nope. We strictly think about life in there. Catch those dorks on the flip side.

ANYWAYS tune in tonight at 7PM for the SERIES FINALE of #BarstoolVsAmerica. This thing was so damn fun & I think if you watched last night you can tell just how much this series is progressing. As amazing as last night was, I'm confident tonight will be INSANE. Tune in!