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Everyone Talking Shit About Summertime Is Just A Big Whiny Baby That Doesn't Appreciate Anything In Life

There's been a LOT of shit talk on Summertime lately. I get it. It's hot, people sweat. It's hard to get cool. The big bad sun cooks your insides while you're on your way to work. BOO FUCKING HOO. Did you ever try, I don't know, sweating less? Controling your bodily fluids? Maybe if you didn't get so worked up about HoW HoT It iS you could cool down? Maybe if you shut your fuckin' YAP you'd stop releasing all of the hot air from your body and into the atmosphere? 

I love the summer. Absolutely love it. Sweat and all. I'll take the hot urine + garbage combo all day long over getting a fucking migraine because my ears are freezing off in the winter months. Why don't people complain about winter the same way they complain about summer? If you choose Winter over Summer, you've never had seasonal depression. I can at least see the arguments for Spring/Fall (Spring is too cold and rainy. Fall used to be good, but we barely have fall anymore. My fall coats have been collecting dust for years.) But you'd rather throw your back out shoveling snow and funneling whiskey down your gullet to numb the darkness both outside and in, then sit under an umbrella watching waves crash and enjoying a fruity drink with an umbrella in it? Grow up. 

Maybe we all need to take a step back and realize it's not the season, it's where we live. Over in Europe they take off the ENTIRE summer. They lay around in the sun, drink, sleep, swim, whatever the hell they want. Everything ALL YOU bitch about during the summertime, they bypass it completely. So maybe we just start that over here? June-August, we don't work. We go on holiday, we come back refreshed, and I don't have to hear any of you fat fucks complaining about the heat anymore. 

Giphy Images.