What Sort Of Strip Club Guy Do We Think Luka Doncic Is After He Reportedly Hates Kristaps For Hitting One Up During The Playoffs?
I'm pretty fascinated by this whole situation, mostly because, fuck Kristaps. That bum. I love seeing him and Luka fighting with each other. I love seeing the public reports that they aren't happy and something has got to change. I love seeing all this negative news just further proving the Knicks won the trade. I've talked about Luka and Kristaps before, so we won't beat the dead horse. Instead we'll talk about strip clubs.
I'm now very curious to know what sort of strip club guy Luka is. I've blogged about different strip club guys before, but here's what I have:
The guy who loves the strip club, wants to go anytime, anywhere
The guy who only goes to strip clubs at a bachelor party
The guy who thinks the strippers actually like him
The guy whose wife/girlfriend calls when she gets an alert of a few hundred bucks taken out of the ATM
The guy who actually pulls a stripper or waitresses number
The guy who is having fun but clearly has no business being there and wants to leave ASAP
The guy who makes a show of it (makes it rain, $2 bills, etc)
The guy who refuses to sit with friends by the stage because he's addicted to private dances
The guy who buys all his friends private dances to try and embarrass them
M.I.A. guy - finds a stripper and locks her up for 2 hours of dances
Very specific type of strip club guys there. I firmly believe Luka is a bit weird strictly because he's been playing professional basketball since he was like 6 years old. But he's still Luka. Strippers will know Luka. Everyone knows Luka. So I'm torn on the guy who actually pulls a strippers number or the guy who is having fun but clearly has no business being there and wants to leave ASAP.
Actually, that's who it is. This is how my brain is working this morning. Just going off the cuff with words. Luka 100% likes strip clubs but pretends to hate them and wants to get out because of his girlfriend and image. The 'clearly having fun but has no business being there' guy is really where we mostly all land. This guy is also the most important person in a strip club group. Why? Allow me to explain the importance of this version of strip club guy:
You get into the spirit of the club and with the guy who had a few drinks and ready to go at the bachelor party. You don't want to be the guy who says no and just sit at the bar instead. You're being a pal. You get there, you're having fun for the first hour or so, but then you're tapped. You've seen titties. You've seen the dances. You threw some dollar bills. You had some drinks. You're ready to get back to a bar. This might be the most important person in the friend group, because you can see it on their face and you can use them as an excuse. You team up with them 'I'm ready to go when you are.' Then as guys start to get lap dances and everyone starts to do their own thing, bam you make your exit.
That's Luka. I'd also 100% want to go to the strip club with Luka over Kristaps. Kristaps would make a scene. He'd be loud and talking about how good he is at basketball and probably would keep saying he's better than Luka. You don't want that guy around you.
All I know is this. If I'm building a team of guys here at Barstool to hit up the strip club with here's the crew that I'm taking: Glenny Balls, WhiteSoxDave, Vibbs, Spittin Chiclets, Large/Willie, Dante and Clem.