Stella Blue Coffee | Win A Game Day Experience With Big CatLEARN MORE

Advertisement

Tom Brady's Mighty Putter Mercilessly Taunts Rodgers & DeChambeau Ahead of 'The Match,' So Naturally the Internet Thinks it's Fakery

Tom Brady. Tom flippin' Brady. His otherworldly, supernatural, physics-defying powers know no bounds. 

I'm mean, just look at that focus. That concentration. The perfect read to go with that deft, feathery touch and precise speed. All while verbally swinging his battleship chain-sized dong at his opponents and firing up his playing partner. Why, no one would blame Aaron Rodgers and Bryson DeChambeau if they saw that and did the Al Czervik thing

… withdrew and just let Brady and Phil Mickelson go play a friendly $2 Nassau between themselves. 

All made more amazing by the fact Brady's had less time to play golf than any player in NFL history, with almost three full seasons worth of postseason games. If he were a mortal man, you could excuse him for not being able to hit the ball out of his own shadow. 

Advertisement

But, since this is Brady, of course people have to question the video. The way they've dismissed every other accomplishment in his exceptional life. He's a system quarterback. He was carried by his defense and special teams. He fumbled and the call it in an incomplete pass. They special have rules to protect him. He gets the benefit of spy cameras. Opposing coaches choke against his coach. He bribes employees to make his footballs squishy.  Even that he's had hair plugs and cosmetic surgery. So naturally, this transcendent display with the flat blade can only be the work of some sort of camera trickery:

Advertisement

The world has been jealous of him since the beginning. They can process all he's capable of doing. Science can't explain it. So they resort to lies and conspiracies. They call it all deception because it gives them comfort for some bizarre reason. They probably think this is fake too:

Fortunately, the only people in all of this who matter know it's real. Me, and his playing partner:

As long as we've got faith in him, who else matters?