Watch This Girl Create A Lifetime Of Commitment Issues In Real Time With One Word, "No"

Awww man. Woods! Buddy! Come back to us! Here we have a lovestruck, brave, romantic 5 year old boy laying it all on the line for his lady. Marriage. Eternity. Forever bound under the eyes of God (or whatever friend they have get ordained before the ceremony.) He knows he's never gonna find a girl who's this cool. He's at the peak of his life, probably chillin' at some kind of summer beach house. Nobody makes sandcastles like she does. Nobody eats midday snacks like her. There isn't a girl for MILES that he can even consider bringing into his orbit. She's The One. And what do you do when you find The One? You propose. He approaches her with confidence. Gets down on one knee...

"No," she says without hesitation. She doesn't even a take single beat to reconsider. She looked into Woods' hopeful, child eyes and decided "I'm going to ruin this boy's life today." Can we blame her, people? She's got her whole life ahead of her. Why should she settle down for the first man to pluck up the courage to take a knee? She's an independent woman who wants to see what else is out there. "There must be more to this provincial life," she was overheard saying. She had no choice but to reject Woods' kind offer, with the hopes that they could remain friends into their adult years. Woods...doesn't see it this way.


"Jeez, you're mean!" he says. Mean for declining an invitation to be bound to one person for every future waking breath, at age 5? No. She is not mean for that. Is she mean for stomping all over his freshly pumping heart with a hard NO and zero real explanation off the top? Yes, probably. Rejection is hard, this is why I never do it. If you get close enough to the center of my web, you're stuck because I don't know how to get you out. Our girl here did the mature thing by not leading him on, but she could've at least let him down easy! As we watch Woods stomp walk away, we're all thinking the same thing: there goes that new fuckboy. Woods is never going to propose again in his life! He's going to have nightmares until the end of time about this rejection. He's going to develop intimacy issues. He's going to say things like "I just live each day as it comes" and "can't we just go with the flow?" four years into his next relationship, to avoid putting a label on it. The sound of this life shattering "NO" bubbling up from the depths of his memory, gaining steam in the race around his head, any time he comes close to considering a committed relationship. 

As for our girl? She'll probably marry the next guy who proposes to her. I say this with complete confidence, because it won't happen again until she's over 30, and she'll realize she doesn't want to die alone. The price you pay for independence. 

Although, in the very RARE cases....Woods could always get bigger and bigger, becoming the next Isaac: