Uncle Ted Is Back At It Again Doing Ungodly Things With A Corncob And His Mouth

Last night I was talking on Twitter dot com about the dietary habits of southern grandparents. Im not sure if a lot of their sweet "treat" habits are from the effects of the great depression or if they actually enjoy the odd culinary concoctions that they come up with, but nevertheless, some of the shit they eat is downright weird. 

I was talking with @mywife about treats my grand father liked. His favorite? A bowl of peaches, sliced, sprinkled with sugar, and covered with half and half. Truth be known, that dish is absolutely fire. Her grandparents loved to settle down with a big glass stuffed with cornbread and topped with milk. That's it. That's the treat. She says it good, but honestly, it's tough to trust her with that kinda yuck mouth taste. No offense to Vernon, her grandfather. Unreal name. My wife and I both have top tier grandpa names in our family. Vernon and Roscoe. Hard to beat that. 

Anyway, I took to twitter to see if anyone else's grand parents loved that treat. Wouldnt you know it, several folks all across the country said yes. Kentucky, Louisiana, South Carolina, North Carolina, Mississippi were all represented well. But, so were northern states like Illinois, New York, and Pennsylvania. People were all basically saying the same thing until ole uncle ted's nephew showed up in my mentions. 

Let's take that tweet and break it down a little.

1. soak a corn cob overnight in a jug of milk. 

- just that line alone is a wild scene. Imagine walking into the kitchen and seeing your beloved force a corn cob into a jug of milk or just pouring a gallon of milk into another container for the purpose of essentially marinating some corn. Insane. 

"Hey babe. Watcha doin?"

"Oh nothing. Getting my breakfast ready for in the morning."

"Overnight oats? Love that journey for you. You're gonna be losing weight in no time, babe."

"What? No. Corn. Im soaking some corn in this milk. What the fuck."

"What the fuck, indeed."

2. So it would soften

-uhhh what. We have a desire for soft corn? Now, is this the corn kernels or is the desired effect for the actual fucking cob to soften. We arent eating the fucking cobs, right? No way. Not the cob. I loved for a video of people eating corn cobs but I didnt find one. I did find this which is also important. 

 3. Cover it with jelly. 

- I need so much more information. What kind of jelly? Grape? Blackberry? Peach? WHAT KIND OF FUCKING JELLY!

4. Eat the whole cob. 

-Why. Why on earth would you do this? I have no idea but this tweet will stick with me for weeks. WEEKS I TELL YA. WEEKS. 

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PS. Im gonna try it