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Today In The Friendly Skies: A Flight Attendant Yelled At An Entire Plane After Being Heckled By Passengers And Told To Suck Their Dicks

You know when the nice teacher in school finally had enough and lost their shit on the class? That's what this video felt like. It takes some hard goddamn work to get a flight attendant that fired up. Everything from asking your drink order to telling you to put your seat and tray table into upright position for landing is said in the gentlest of tones. You may get some passive aggressive remark if you simply refuse to turn your phone off before takeoff. But other than that, you won't find a sunnier demeanor in the friendly skies than the person with the person with the handkerchief around their neck.

However, I suspect this tongue lashing was a long time coming considering every airplane has the vibe of a rap battle and every airport is now a pop up fight club just waiting to happen since the covid hit. 


Now as a dad, I like to think of a solution that is as easy as possible that also requires as little work as possible. That usually means I just give my crying kid their iPad to shut them up. However, that is clearly not going to work with the hardos in this video.

Simply put, we need to start throwing assholes out of planes. I'm not saying making people plummet to their death, since the insurance companies would jack up the premiums on all flights that would in turn make plane tickets impossible to afford. But I think you can get away with having a bouncer pick an unruly passenger from their seat, throwing a parachute on their back, and giving them a brief tutorial on how to use said parachute Little Tom Callahan style before kicking open the door then shoving them out.

God I miss that man