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Bezos Is Strapping His Ass To A Rocketship And Going to Outer Space With His Brother Like An Idiot

Amazon founder and outgoing CEO Jeff Bezos will fly into space with his brother Mark on the Blue Origin New Shepherd spacecraft next month, beating billionaire space-sector rivals Elon Musk and Richard Branson to the punch. 

Bezos founded Blue Origin in 2000, initially focused on building sub-orbital spacecraft, starting the New Shepard rocket that will launch this first crewed flight.

Bezos will fly to the edge of space along with his brother Mark, and the winner of an auction who will have paid at least  $2.8 million (£1.98 million) for their seat.

Bezos just wants fucking out. The Saudi Royal family ended his marriage by leaking his texts. His employees have seemingly an unending list of demands like bathroom breaks and benefits. Everyone just up his ass about crushing small businesses and importing poison cosmetics from China. The guy has had it up to here to he's going up there. Good luck issuing a complaint or a subpoena when Bezos is in orbit floating around the zero gravity zone of space. 

This to me seems like the craziest shit in the world. Buddy, you're the richest guy on Earth. You are no longer married. You've broken free of any shackles holding you down on Earth. The things available to you, which is everything on Earth, are pretty fucking sweet. Strapping yourself to a rocket that sits on top of swimming pools of jet fuel just to go up to space for a few hours with your brother and some dink who paid $3M for the pleasure of riding with you on your penis ship seems absurd. Those things blow up all the time. I've always been enamored with space. I understand the appeal. I would be totally cool with dying on my way to outer space. That's because my life on Earth is mediocre at best. Bezos could come up with a billion cooler ways to die. Or better yet...live. There's nothing in space. Literally. It's vast and empty. If I blow up, what am I missing out on? Not that much. If Bezos dies in a ball of fire 100,000ft up well he missed out on world domination, owning a sports team, harem of women, and doing whatever James Bond villain/Scrooge McDuck fantasies he has. The Amazon Board or even just his knucklehead brother needs to step up and tell him that he could send any bald dummy up there and get the same accolades for not blowing up. For a smart guy, it seems like he isn't properly evaluating risk involved here.