Coach K Couldn't Handle The Basketball World Not Talking About Him, Reportedly Going To Retire After This Season So He Can Have A Farewell Tour

Couldn't wait a day there huh, K? Then again not exactly shocking. The guy is an egomaniac through and through. Of course he's announcing that he's going to retire a year in advance so he can have his ego stroked on a farewell tour. I hope he's booed everywhere he goes. Don't give me the fake bullshit of people cheering for him and giving him gifts. No, this is sports. We're supposed to hate our rivals for all of eternity. Not to mention we already know the NCAA and its refs will 100% go out of their way to help him out. They can't fathom Duke missing the NCAA Tournament again. 

Not shockingly they have Scheyer lined up for its next head coach. Keep it in the family, blah, blah, blah. But let's be honest. There are going to be a zillion Brad Stevens to Duke rumors. Shit that was a rumor when he was at Butler. He's already left one job since then. We can hear that Scheyer is lined up because he's hand picked by K, but we'll still get the rumors. 

I'm actually going to miss K in college basketball. He's incredibly fun to hate because of how hypocritical he is. I'm not even saying he's a bad coach, that's asinine. He's just a hypocritical asshole that unites everyone into hating Duke. The Dillon Brooks thing, the yelling at the students, talking about hating one-and-dones before only recruiting one-and-dones. It's all there. Did he win? Of course, again, no one is arguing he was arguably the best college basketball coach of all time. I just want one more year of everyone agreeing that he's that plus a hypocritical asshole and not some saint. Really hope it shows up when they lose to like Virginia Tech by 8. 

Now, there's just one thing to do. Open the season with him taking a perfect loss to Kentucky in the Champions Classic since they are scheduled to play this year on rotation.