Undisputed Grudge-Holder Champion Spends 6 Years Digging an Underground Home After a Fight With His Parents
Metro UK - Andres Canto was 14 when he got into a row with his parents after they told him he couldn’t wear his tracksuit to the local village.
To blow off some steam, he headed into the garden with his grandfather’s pickaxe and attacked the ground.
He wasn’t sure quite what initially compelled him to start digging, but he carried on doing it every day of the week and found it helped him unwind after school.
Now, six years later, he has his very own subterranean man cave, complete with its very own living room and bedroom, as well as heating, internet via his phone, and a music system.
When Andres’ parents put their foot down in 2015 and said he couldn’t wear his beloved tracksuit to the village, he told them: ‘No worries I can entertain myself’.
You, me, and everyone who has ever had an argument with our parents needs to hang our heads right now. Both in shame at our embarrassing, pathetic attempts at trying to show them they're not the boss of us, and also out of reverence to Andres Canto, the Godking of Grudges. This is dedication indeed. And I'm ashamed to know such a devoted person exists as I recall the sad, half-assed attempts I've been a part of. Both as a child and as a parent. I mean, what did I do when I got on my mom's shit list? Mope? Go ride my bike around the block? Refuse to eat vegetables? I was awful at being defiant. I didn't even have the balls to talk back. And I doubt my longest attempt to stay mad survived past the start of the next "Hogan's Heroes" episode. My own kids had no game either. The best they could manage was the silent treatment followed by general mopiness. And being grounded doesn't have much impact when you're a 2000s kid, so being in your room means getting stuck with internet access, video games, unlimited music, streaming services and god knows what they're getting texted from kids in school.
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Meanwhile, our guy Andres Canto just goes ahead and builds an underground lair. No, strike that. More like a palace. The kind the dwarves carve underneath the mountains in "Lord of the Rings." Grand halls with all the architectural majesty you'd find in the great halls of mighty kings.
It's said that a society truly becomes great when an old man plants a tree under whose shade he will never sit. This is the next best thing. Because when you're 14, six years feels like an eternity. It's inconceivable that 14-year-old Jerry would have ever started a project that I would have to wait for 20-year-old Jerry to truly enjoy. Hell, aside from putting money in my 401k, I don't do that now. And this underground Hobbit hole (I've reached my limit of two "LOTRs" references per blog) he's designed reminds me less of that tree metaphor than it does this city I visited in Italy. It was a walled fortress on top of a mountain that was built to withstand a siege. So the first thing they did was break ground on a vast well, hundreds of feet deep. The logic being that, as long as you had fresh water, you could outlast any attacking army. It worked as a deterrent, because no army ever took up arms against them. It took 100 years to complete and it still stands today. Any teenager with the patience and dedication to complete a place where he can outlast any attack from his mom and dad - with heat, internet, music and whatever - is every bit as deserving of our praise as those visionaries were.
So here's to you, Andres Canto. Long may you reign in your underground kingdom. If I was the dad who drove you to that, I'd be damned proud. And for sure I'd let you wear your track suit wherever and whenever you'd like.