On Behalf Of Lax Dads Everywhere, I Demand That Tom Brady Stop Carrying His Kids' Equipment Bag
There are quite a few things that Tom Brady does which would be considered bizarre if it were coming from any normal fella. I mean the guy doesn't eat tomatoes for crying out loud. But the results speak for themselves. He's got 7 Super Bowl Rings on his fingers so there are just as many weird things that Tom Brady does that I'd never question him about. If removing tomatoes from your diet is the secret to getting 7 rings, well then so be it.
But if there's one thing that I'm going to have to check Tommy Terrific on, it's the fact that he's carrying his kid's bag here. That's the #1 rule of being a lacrosse parent. Well, maybe it's like the 3rd rule. Rule #1 should be don't be a dickhead to the coach and rule #2 should be don't be a dickhead to the refs. But other than just not being a lunatic on the sidelines, the most important thing a lax parent can do is force their kid to carry their own bag. It doesn't matter if it's 100 degrees out in the humid Florida weather and they just got done playing 3 games back-to-back-to-back. It doesn't matter if the bag is bigger than the kid is. You want to play the game? You carry your own gear.
The issue here is that Tom Brady has influence. The moment that other lax parents start to see a 7x Super Bowl winning QB carrying his kid's bag, they're all going to start doing the same thing. "If Brady does it then so should I", they'll say to themselves. And then all of a sudden, there's an entire generation of young lax rats growing up having their mommy and daddy carry their bags from game to game. They'll grow up to be soft, they'll grow up not wanting to compete, and they'll ruin the game. So on behalf of lax dads everywhere, I urge Tom Brady to be the best lax dad he can be and put the bag down. The fate of the sport is strapped around his shoulders.