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I Could Listen to This Story of Larry David Big-Timing Tom Brady at the Kentucky Derby All Day Long

Charissa Thompson had me at her description of Tom Brady's "sultry, Tabasco, vanilla, whiskey voice." Since my voice has been described as "shrill, chowder, Dunkins, Double IPA." And believe me, I share her appreciation for it. On August 25th, 2014 I heard that voice say "Happy birthday, Jer" over a WEEI phone line and my life was permanently changed for the better. It's the voice I want to hear calling me up through a tunnel of light as I shuffle off this mortal coil. 

But she truly got me at the Larry David part of the story. It's absolutely what you'd expect from him. Larry David, staying completely in character. In fact, you'd be disappointed if he did anything more than just casually, "Oh, hi" the most celebrated athlete of our times. In fact, this pretty much has to be the plot of a future episode of "Curb." Tom Brady says hello first. Larry is unaware he big-timed him. Jeff gives him a lecture about how you can't do that to Tom Brady. They argue. Later on Larry runs across him again and goes out of his way to be friendly, but Brady blows him off in front of everyone. Fade to black. 

And that's all I got. Sometimes you've got to just let the story told in the video be the blog. 

... But I can't. I have to end with one quick story I heard Adam McKay tell a while back. Larry goes to a Yankees game. And in the middle innings, the scoreboard camera zooms in on him, he acknowledges it, and the crowd goes wild. After the game, he's walking down the street and a guy driving by leans out the window and yells, "Hey Larry David! You fucking SUCK!!!" And for the rest of the day, Larry can't stop obsessing about why that guy hates him so much. Not the 50,000 people who cheered and chanted his name. The one dick who yelled at him. That's why he's a national treasure.